- Pagan Lightbulb Jokes
How many Gardnerians does it take to change a lightb…Pagan Lightbulb Jokes
How many Gardnerians does it take to change a lightbulb?
13 consistng entirely of man-woman working couples
How many Rad fems does it take?
7: one to do it, 2 to organize the creche and 4 to debate the meaning of the word unscrew
How man Crowleyites does it take?
They can't. Uncle Aleister didn't leave any instructions.
How many Chaos magicians does it take?
They don't need to–they are used to working in the dark.
How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change it, one not to change it.
How many Zen Masters does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The universe changes the light bulb and the Zen Master gets the hell out of the way!
How many Gardnerians does it take to change a light bulb?
1. I can't say. It's oathbound.
2. I can't tell you–you're not a third-circle initiate!
How many Alexandrians does it take to change a light bulb?
1. Same number as Gardnerians.
2. What do the Gardnerians do?
How many Dianic women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
That's W-I-M-M-I-N, and that's not funny!
How many Solitaries does it take to change a light bulb?
How many Dianics does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but that bulb has really got to want to change.
How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?
1. None… they call the electrician who's also pagan and keeps the money in their community.
2. None — if a candle was good enough for Gramma it's good enough for me!
How may light bulbs does it take to change a Gardnerian?
None, they can do it all by themselves, thank you very much!!
How many Asatruar does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The light from the burning monastery is sufficient, thank you.
How many Druids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
They don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in stone circles.
How many Druids does it take to change a light bulb?
Thirteen; one to hold the bulb, and twelve to drink enough to make the room spin.
How many ceremonial magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One; he stands still with the bulb, and the universe revolves around him.
How many Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends on what you want to change it into.
How many Thelemites does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Crowley never wrote a book about it.
- A Pagan Televangelist
Howdy folks. I'm Billy Bob DreamDanc…A Pagan Televangelist
Howdy folks. I'm Billy Bob DreamDancer, and I'd like to invite ya'll to join me and my lovely wife Tammy Faye Moonbeam when we present our new spiritual TV show, the 3Fold Club.
We will be premiering Thursday night, August 24th at 8:00 PST on UPN 666. Join in song with us as our chorus of skyclad priestess initiates thrills you with plagiarized Christian tunes, set forth in pagan words.
Share the joy as I heal the sick, right before your very eyes, as a 57th degree Reiki practitioner, not some plebeian (*cough*real* couch*) 3rd degree so called Master. Can I have a Blessed Be brothers and sisters!!!!!
As a special introductory offer, Christians are welcome to join us and have their souls saved by our special guest Jesus (Hernandez) in a show of interfaith unity. So Mote it be!!!!
Now, I must ask your help in this brothers and sisters. The Lady told me in a dream last week, that She would call me home to the Summerlands if I don't raise the collective consciousness, in the amount of $10 million. Help me to help you!!!
Besides, Tammy Faye Moonbeam needs your support too. She spends hundreds of dollars each and every day on Henna. It's an addiction, so says the Shamanistic Healers at the Betty Ford Clinic. Please send cash as our Lady does not want us to detract from our spiritual path by worrying about checks and book keeping.
I'd also like to extend an invitation to you to come on down and join us at our new religious theme park, WiccanWorld. Take a ride on our Sacred Space roller coaster, the tallest in North America. Thrill yourself when you ride our Wheel of the Year over 150 feet into the air. Try to hold onto your seats as you experience the Spiral Dance bobsled ride.
If you'd like advance registration or would like to purchase tickets to our show, please send cash only to:
Billy Bob DreamDancer
1313 Oppossumtown Road, trailer lot #13(see, our lucky number!!)
Don't worry about filling out any forms when you send your cash. I'm a Natural Witch, and I'll know all about you just by psychically feeling your envelope.
Amen and Blessed Be!!!
- Good Morning everyone hope everyone has a great Saturday Still not feel at my be…
Good Morning everyone hope everyone has a great Saturday Still not feel at my best so again a slow day for posting. Well no matter what you have planned for today have a wonderful day filled will love light laughter Brightest Blessings Draco )o(/|\
The son of Hermes and a nymph, Pan was half goat half man who lived in the forests of Arcadia surrounded by satyrs and maenads. He was a fertility god, protecting the fields, woods, shepherds and goatherds. He was believed to make he goats pregnant.
Pan had invented the flute when the nymph Syrinx had turned into reeds in order to escape him. Blowing the reeds he created beautiful music, but in spite of that, he did not manage to make any nymph fall in love of him since he was so ugly. He also loved beautiful shepherds.
Christianity took some of Pan's attributes when creating the image of the Devil.
The ancient Greeks believed that when their herds suddenly started running or shuddered with fear without any apparent explanation, it was Pan who scared them. For this we have the word panic – sudden and total fear.
When the Persians attacked Athens in 480 BC the messenger Pheidippedes met Pan in Arcadia. Pan asked him why the Athenians did not worship him and said he would gladly help them against their enemy. So, he appeared on the side of the Athenians at the battle of Marathon, and a cult was founded to his honour in a cave on the northern side of the Acropolis.
Art by Majid Ismaeily.
Prayer to Tyche
Blessed Tyche, guide of the unguided,
friend of the desperate, light of the lost.
In risks taken despite near-hopeless odds,
in impulses followed to unknown ends,
in choices made lightly, in foolish caprice,
in these we look for you, beloved one.
Dear Tyche, unpredictable goddess,
gentle giver of undeserved fortune,
beautiful flickering flame of chance,
we thank you for sweet serendipity,
for pure dumb luck, for the long shot made true.
Tyche, kind one, we praise and honor you.
- Moon Day 19
A difficult, even dangerous, day in all astrological traditions. It…Moon Day 19
A difficult, even dangerous, day in all astrological traditions. It is suited only for struggles with enemies, and the destruction of anything outmoded. On this day, good deeds and noble actions may bring a very different result to the one you had been hoping for. It isn't suitable for starting anything important, especially connected with earning money. Marriage is undesirable, and you should also avoid drunks.
- Saturday — Saturn's day
Middle English saterday
Old English sæter(nes)dæg "Satu…Saturday — Saturn's day
Middle English saterday
Old English sæter(nes)dæg "Saturn's day"
Latin dies Saturni "day of Saturn"
Ancient Greek hemera Khronu "day of Cronus"
Saturn is the Roman and Italic god of agriculture and the consort of Ops. He is believed to have ruled the earth during an age of happiness and virtue.
Cronus (Kronos, Cronos) is the Greek god (Titan) who ruled the universe until dethroned by his son Zeus.
- Sunrise: 5:05 AM BST
Sunset: 9:24 PM BST
Length of Day: 16h 19m
Tomorrow will…Sunrise: 5:05 AM BST
Sunset: 9:24 PM BST
Length of Day: 16h 19m
Tomorrow will be 1m 35s shorter.
Moon Rise: 10:58 PM BST
Moon Set: 9:47 AM BST
Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous 85% Illuminated
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